srsly

so i lost both of my cats last saturday.- maxwell had urinary crystals which resulted in him peeing on the carpet for a couple months.- i took him to the vet- and he got better but the pee smell wasn’t going away no matter what cleaning we tried.- it turns out that edward seemed to have the same problem.- so maxwell got better, was most likely using the box normally, and edward was peeing on the carpet.- last friday we come home to see edward had peed and shat a little on the couch.- this was kind of the last straw for us.

we shut them both up in the bathroom that night and edward just peed all over the floor.- it was decided that he had to go.- after i rescued him from abandonment and bottle-fed him until he could eat solid food i had to give him away.- after so many vet bills and almost 3 months living in an apartment that smelled like cat pee it’s hard to come to another conclusion.- that isn’t to say it wasn’t a hard decision.- it was awful, is awful.- i miss him a lot but i just couldn’t deal with cats peeing on the floor anymore.- and it certainly wasn’t fair to tessa.- so saturday morning i put both cats out so i could clean and edward just stuck around peeing all over everything and maxwell ran away.

taking edward to the humane society to put him up for adoption was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do.- i wanted to help him, but i couldn’t afford the monetary or personal health costs any more.- we couldn’t really start treating him with the special food we gave maxwell and wait for him to get better while he peed everywhere but the litter box.- this would have been easier if we lived in a house.- we could have shut him up in the garage or something.- but now he’s gone and i’ll never see him again.

i’m not sure where maxwell went.- the other times we put him outside he didn’t go very far and we always saw him again in a couple hours.- it was really cold and snowing a lot last weekend so we’re thinking that maybe someone saw him outside and decided to keep him instead of trying to find his owner.- or he froze.

in retrospect we probably didn’t need to put maxwell out since he was peeing in the box.- but we were both mad and didn’t really expect him to run away.- so i drove/gave away two of my best friends who i loved very much.- it almost makes me never want to have cats again.- i don’t think i could deal with losing another one in such a shitty way.- maxwell is micro-chipped but that doesn’t help unless someone turns him in somewhere that will scan him.- i still recommend it; any chance you can be reunited with your pet you should take.- but it’s been a week, it’s been horrible weather.- i’ve been calling the shelter every day listening to the lost pet hotline and nothing.- i put up signs, nothing.- so i think it might be time to resign myself to the fact that they’re just gone.- goodbye guys.- i wish it didn’t have to be this way.