figures i only post about random crap and momentous occasions.
i don’t feel like details. but let’s just say i’m an asshole. i’ll be the frist to admit it. no, i’m not proud of it. yes i’m sorry. completely sorry? yes and no.
why?
first, i had more time to think about it because i held it in for a while because i thought i was just being stupid. maybe i was. but i think when it came to the tipping point i had already let go, but didn’t want to fess up. i wanted to take the easy way. can’t really do that though, can you.
second, this is probably the direction my subconscious, and probably a fair bit of my conscious mind was wanting to go for a while. it wasn’t fair to any party involved, and i probably should have come clean sooner. that’s my fault, and if it means anything i’m sorry. i guess being honest doesn’t mean a hell of a lot at this point.
i know things like this take time to simmer down. i don’t expect absolution. at all. just at some point it is my hope that you can stop hating me enough to hang out again. however long it takes.
honestly, i am WAAAAY more pissed at tessa than I am at you. not that you’re blameless for anything, and not that you didn’t hurt me (because you certainly did), but if there had never been any tessa, as far as i can tell everything would be fine. i honestly at this point wish i never knew her.
but lying to me and saying that you weren’t going to just run to her was the wrong thing to do. a week is not “time.”