just once i want to lock eyes with a complete stranger and not have it be the uncomfortable experience people assume it is, and just have it be the chance meeting of eyes between two people who don’t know each other.
you know how when you ride the bus with any kind of regularity you start recognizing some of the other riders? and how after a while you discreetly observe them and form ideas about them in your head? just once i want to go up to one of these people and say, “i like the pre-conceived notion of you i have in my head that was formed based on the way you dress and your demeanor when you ride the bus.”
but we don’t do these things. because people would think you were strange. it only seems strange because nobody does it. i don’t do it because i fear that future bus rides will be very uncomfortable. it’s probably a good thing i restrain from doing these things, because some people might interpret this as creepy or stalker-like. but the reality is, for most people, oustide of my interactions and pre-conceived thoughts of you when i’m in your presence, i don’t think or care about you.
which leads me to another question that bugs me sometimes. is it wrong to just not give a shit about anything that doesn’t directly impact your life? yes in the grand scheme of things practically everything touches your life somehow; butterfly flapping it’s wings in Taipei starts a breeze that wafts a bee into a dog’s eye in wisconson or some such nonsense. i’m talking about things you interact with every day, things you live around/with. are you missing something as a human being to not be overly concerned with things outside your immediate consciousness? i don’t think so, but then i might be twisted somehow.
i was cool with talking to him actually, until he got painfully dorky. now, i say painfully dorky, and you know how much i like dorks.
dude he was on the bus again this morning and he actually MOVED to talk to me. granted there weren’t that many people on the bus, but i’m so glad that’s not my usual bus.